I made my new journal. Here it is.

http://littlest-flame.livejournal.com/

Woo. Ch-ch-changes. (Turn and face the strain!)

So. It rained way too fucking much today. And every customer that came in and asked us if we knew about the flood warnings and landslides on the highway? Yeah, you bitches can all rot in hell.

Lyse picked me up from work today and we hung out at my apartment. Josh and Nikki were there, we watched them play Guitar Hero and the Guitar Hero 2 demo and smoked in the bathroom and listen to Zack and Zelly's hilarious voice mail messages.

And then they made me do karaoke, because Josh has the Karaoke Revolution thingie video game. I did Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" because I know it by heart and I could never fuck it up. I got a perfect score, and then adamantly refused to do "Play That Funky Music, White Boy" for Lyse.

So right now we're at Mom's house just hanging out. It's good times. I'm a barwench in my Mom's NaNo story, since all of her friends and family are getting cameo appearances. Sis is the archery captain, and Lyse is the lead provisioner for the armies. It's all awesome.

( CAAAASIE! I'm talking about my Nano story under here! )

So, Matt's dad is being nice enough to let me check my stuff on his computer over at Matt's house. Matt's mom has successfully stuffed me full of ham and salad and coffee. I've decided I like it here.

So. I will be making it to Orycon, no problem. I will be bringing a hundred dollars, the rest is going into my bank account. Go me for saving money.

ZOMG! 12 more days until I'm legal. Do you have any idea how terrifying this is?

Yeah... dyed my hair black again. I couldn't help myself. I was looking through old Rocky pictures and I got sad and missed the old days and so I decided that it was time for a change.

Which leads me to another change. I know you guys are tired of this, but I can't help myself. This is another chapter in my life and I'm going to celebrate it with a new journal. The next, and last post, will be the url of my new journal. I will be adding everyone to that journal the next time I have access to a computer and I don't have a time limit.

So uh.

Yeah. Halloween night we had a fire on the deck. One of the cigarette butts must have been blown onto the chair or something, 'cause it was all going up. We got it put out and the police came and tracked ash all over the carpet. Now the apartments are making us pay for whatever damage occured, which I think isn't much, it's all on the surface. Still, sucky times.

This is causing Josh and Tessa to reconsider what kind of people we have at the house and how many we have. Hopefully we will be establishing rules now. There weren't really rules before, it made me sad because I felt like I couldn't tell people what to do if I got annoyed with them. But now there will be rules. Ha. Enforcer, I am.

Yeah.... rent is going to take out my whole paycheck this month, except for the 70 I'm saving for Orycon. Shoot. Poop. Ass. Bitch. Cocksucker. This makes me angry.

So yeah... updating for the sake of telling you I'm still alive.

So. Today is Halloween and I don't have a costume. I'm going to let Josh and Tessa and Emma have thier evil stylish ways with me and see what comes out of it.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I'm gonna have so much candy. Mmmmm. It's all about the pillowcases, baby.

Uh. Yeah. Turning eighteen in seveteen days. Feels weird. Orycon is in seventeen days too. I have nothing planned for that either. Shitty. Being poor sucks, 'cause I can't buy costume stuff 'cause it's all going to rent. Lame lame lame.

See you guys at Orycon!

Um. And another thing. I think I'm becoming celibate, or at least not liking sex anymore. I'm starting to think it's gross and not worth the time and effort. I'm a mutant.

FUCK YEAH!

We saw Jennifer Billig today. My inking date is December 29th. Fuckhellassyeah!

Gramma wasn't too bad today. I smoked a cigarette right in front of her and she didn't say anything. She made me the softest blanket, oh my god, it's awesome. It's got a floral pattern on one side and dark forest green fleece on the other side and silky green boardering. And she made me matching pillowcases.

Mom's gonna come over to the apartment tomorrow to drop off all the stuff Gramma got for me and help me set up my bed.

Today was a good day. Now if I only had a cigarette.

So, I love my apartment. I love Tessa and Josh, the best roomates in the world. Josh is teaching me how to longboard, and I'm picking up skateboarding by myself. I have my own skateboard that we stole from Zack.

I've smoked a hooka with Josh and Tessa, since the hooka is Tessa's and lives with us. Uni and Mike come over all the time, they're our Couchbob 1 and 2.

We all went to Eugene last night to hang out with Tessa's brother, Tessa, Josh, Mike, Uni and I. Five people in Tessa's car. It was a tight fit and I got snuggles outtta Uni. We partied with her brother and her brother's girlfriend and slept at thier house and had to wake up at six in the morning to go back to Portland 'cause Tessa had to work. She dropped us off at a transit center in Tualitan and we took the bus back into Portland. I didn't sleep. I think I passed out in the car on the way down, but other than that, no sleep.

Tomorrow is my tattoo consultation with Jennifer Billig. Apparently my grandmother is coming with us. Oh my. I'm debating on wether or not I should tell her that I haven't spent a single night sober since I moved in. Hehehe. Oh well. She'll defenitely know I smoke cigarettes, 'cause there's no way in hell I'm gonna be hiding that from her. Fuck that.

So yeah. Life is going pretty damned good actually. I don't know when I'm going to be able to check my stuff next, so if there's anything totally important that I need to know, just call me. Seriously.

Pictures of how I look now and my apartment and skateboarding kitties under the cut.

( What else? Pictures of me! And kitties. )

( Nothing more real has ever touched my heart before )

I had a very strange dream last night. It might have had something to do with the Triscuits I had eaten just before sleeping, but it was strange nonetheless.

I was somewhere. For some reason I want to say West Virginia. Don't know why. But it was where Nate and the girls and Jason lived. I don't know why they lived in West Virginia, but for the sake of my dream, they did. I was there visiting Nate. We were having fun, playing, hanging out, he taught me how to drive a truck and I took them all offroading to show off my skillz.

Then it was nighttime and Monica and Sis showed up and told me that something was wrong at home and I needed to go home. They had a car and were packing my stuff into it. Nate asked me if I wanted to go and I said I didn't know, so I stood there for a while and eventually went with them.

But then I leapt out of the car and hitchiked back to Nate's apartments. He was waiting for me on his doorstep. I threw myself into his arms and kissed him and he said he'd knew I'd come back. Then it started raining and we turned into redtailed hawks and flew away.

Really fucking weird, you know?

Le sigh. Today is frantic packing day. Tomorrow is moving day. Sunday may very well be moving day too, if I can't get everything done. I just want to get it done and overwith. I hate moving. I like being in new places, leaving the old ones, I just hate the process of moving.

Oooh, today is also payday. Except that this payday all goes to the apartment. Whee.

Much thanks to John for letting me use his laptop to check my stuff and do this. *MUAH* Love you, babe.

Spent the night at John's house last night, obviously. He's driving me to work. Aww, such a nice boy.

Still moving in on Saturday. There was a snafu where we thought we'd have to wait until the 1st, but we got that smoothed out. I need like... 438, I think it was. Josh came by work yesterday and gave me exact numbers. Whoo boy. But rent is going to be about 314, which is pretty cool. And there will be internet at the house. YES!

I'm gonna be strapped for cash until about December. And when I say December, I mean the end of December. I'm not going to have any money for myself for my birthday or Christmas. Not to sound mean or anything, but don't expect any presents outta me. I'm giving Monica 90 for Orycon, and that's it. The rest is going to the apartment or into my bank account for the apartment. Fuck. I haven't even moved in and it's a greedy money hungry leech already. Hehehe, we're gonna get along just fine.

So yeah.... last night was good for me. I needed it. I haven't seen John in years... last time being on the bus when I was with Ryan. Yeah, almost a year and a half. I missed him. He's not all that much different, same old John. His Frama is awesome too, I like her.

So on Friday I will be packing like crazy shit, and Saturday I will be doing residual packing and moving all my shit to the new apartment. I can do it by myself mostly, gonna need Josh's help with the mattress, but everything is is pretty much boxes that I can carry. We're on a ground floor, so no stairs to fuck with. I need to borrow Robert's portable harddrive so I can get my stuff off of Lyse's desktop, 'cause she's not letting me take the tower with me. Sad. Oh well.

Uh. Yeah. See you all at Orycon.

Shit shit shit.

I'm being asked for more money for the apartment than I can afford. 200-300 I can do, but not 400. It's the cost of the deposit and moving in fees. Ugh. Stressed out.

On the good side, I'll talk to Josh and hopefully get this all smoothed out. I really want to get this all smoothed out.

On the bad side, I may have to quit working at Quizno's and move back to Portland and live with Mom for a few months. Not that moving back to Portland is a bad thing, I just...

I thought this was going to work out, you know? I thought I could handle responsibility like this and not have it get screwed up...

Now I'm just waiting for Josh to call me back, but that'll be later tonight. And I'll be home in Beaverton by then, so no super update. I'll have to wait for Monday for that. Stupid library being closed on Sunday.

Going to Kell's for dinner tonight with Mom and Geoff and Sis. It's Geoff's birthday today. Hoora hooray.

Last night was fucking awesome, as usual as anything having to do with going out with Jen is.

She decided to kidnap me to go see Covenant at the Hawthorne Theater, since her friend Roger wanted her to go. So she got dolled up, I got dolled up, and we went. I was wearing my new black patent leather heels, which were comfortable at the time, but as I found out later, a big mistake. Except it ended up working out to my advantage, I guess. I had my pants rolled up so they were like capri pants, and this one woman came over and gave me the most beautiful compliment I have ever received.

Now, everyone knows I hate my legs. They aren't long and lean like tall girl legs are so I usually hide them under pants. She said they were like something out of a 40's pin up drawing. She said a lot more, but sadly can't remember. It defenitely made my night, so I wrote down my ModelMayhem information and gave it to her at the end of the night, because I do plan on doing some 40's-60's era type shoots in the future. I think she'd like seeing them.

I saw Gino there. He was one of the first people I saw. That was goodness. Made me feel a lot more comfortable, strangely enough. Kinda like if I got in any kind of snafu, Jen wouldn't be the only one I had to rely on to save me. Not that anything like that happened, but it felt nice knowing there was someone else I knew there.

Now, the first band that came on, I can't remember who they were, but they were fucking awesome. I danced. I put my stuff on the stage and I danced and I didn't care who saw me or what I was doing, I just moved. Apparently it was good enough, because it attracted the eye of a little gothy man who was dancing next to me, who later told me I was beautiful and he hoped he'd see me around the concert. I didn't see him again. Not very disappointed, though, not at all. I wish I could remember who the first band was, I liked them more than the headliner. Blasphemy, I know.

Second band, blah. Went outside and smoked a lot of cigarettes. I smoked a lot tonight. More than I probably should have. I woke up this morning and my mouth tasted like an ashtray. And trust me, I was three once, I know what an ashtray tastes like.

Covenant was okay. I wasn't too thrilled with them, but it wasn't like I couldn't stand hearing them. I guess after the first band, I was expecting music with faster and harder beats and lyrics. Meh. I still had a good time. Jen was carting me around and introducing me to all her friends, everyone was feeling bad because I'm cute and almost eighteen, but not eighteen yet. I got picked up by her friend Jed and carried around for a while, he seemed quite taken with me. But then again, I think he'd been drinking. It was okay, he wasn't ungentlemanly, just being happy and playful.

We went back to Jen's friend Kevin's house with Kevin and Chris and Jack. I think they were intending for more people to be there, but it was just us. Guess what we did? We sat for three hours and talked and did a Star Wars jigsaw puzzle on Kevin's living room table. PARTY CENTRAL! YEAH! WOO! It was crazy.

Chris gave Jen and I a ride home at five in the morning. First we got Burger King, though. That was a good Whopper. Then I went over to Mom's house and passed out, and woke up at 11 when Lyse called me from downstairs to ask me where her keys were. Bleh. Partying is such good fun. I'll be partying in Portland more often when I move into the apartment, because Josh and Matt like to go to shows in Portland.

So very very glad I went with Jen last night. I so needed that.

And today I go back to Beaverton with Lyse where I shall depend on the library for internet stuff. Oh joy, oh joy. OH! I have a photoshoot with Rabbit on Friday. Very very happy about this. Very happy.

In Portland.

Geoffrey loved his pirate cake. We gave him a eyepatch and kercheif. It was good.

Yeah... not much to update. Hated work. Lots. Will be trying to get out to Kitty's for the imps, but may not make it due to the fact that I have Lyse in Portland with me and if I don't get home before she decides to leave, I'm stranded. I left my bus pass at home. Blech.

So I just got back from Petco and talked to a very nice girl about snakes. I do have to be eighteen to buy anything there, but I can also have Mom come in and sign off for me.

I'm thinking I want to buy one as soon as I move into the apartment. They had a Mexican Black Kingsnake in, and it looked really active and cute and was following my finger around the cage. But then the Ball Pythons decided to perk up and be cute and my heart melted for them. I'm thinking I'm going to get a Ball Python, just because of how big they get and it would remind me of Fido.

The library computer is very slow. Kinda making me angry.

Updating at work, hooray!

Apparently I am being kidnapped to Portland on Friday. I think it has to do with Geoff's birthday. Lyse and I got him a really cool cake, he's gonna love it. Saturday I do not work, so I will make a damned good attempt to get to Kitty's house and pick up my imps. Smelly goods are lovely things.

So yeah... nothing really new on the house front. Still waiting for the 21st to get here. Possibly hanging out with Nate tonight. He said he'd call me, but phone calls usually end up in him coming and getting me, so yeah. I dunno, I'm stressed with the moving and he's stressed with family stuff so maybe... meh, not gonna go there. Bad train of thought, bad!

Yeah. Been sucking down VitaminWater like there's no tomorrow. It's keeping me alive, since I'm still sick as a dog.

Hopefully will be doing the photoshoot next week with Rabbit. That would be nice.

Should I die my hair red, or black again? I'm feeling the dangerous itch for change.

HEY KIDS!

I heard from Josh and we're getting the apartment on the 21st. YAY! I am hoping to be all moved in before Halloween.

Now, regarding Halloween, because of my schedule I'm not going to be able to do anything in Portland. I'm staying in Beaverton this year. Not really planning on doing anything here, just hanging out with my roomates and going around the complex getting candy, so don't think I'm abandoing you for something more fun. I just can't make the trip or take anymore time off work.

I have gotten the weekend for Orycon off for sure. Don't worry about that at all.

So yeah.... Things are going kinda good. Me and Nate are still interested in each other, everything's looking good and calm on that front. My brother wrecked his car again. John hasn't spoken to me since he called me drunk and I told him I wasn't wanting to fool around with him. I keep trying to call Katy, my wifey, but her phone isn't receiving incoming calls.

Kitty, I will get around to picking up my imps, my next day off is Saturday. I'll try calling you on Thursday or Friday to see what your plans are for the day and when I can come pick them up. Fer sure.

I love you kids, sorry I don't have internet, I know it's hard for you all. It's hard on me too.